Sheppard vs The Infermary
by SheppardsAngel
Summary: Sheppard is stuck in the infermary for a week, he writes a diary of events.. warning: swearing involved.


**Sheppard's infirmary diary**

LT Col. Sheppard breaks his leg off world and is forced to stay in the infirmary; this is his version of events ;-)

Week 1-

**Wednesday **

Damn branch, damn rocks. I shouldn't have lost my balance. Carson's insisting it's a broken leg and I should stay in for a week, A WEEK they thought I couldn't hear them but I heard every word. Well I would have if not five minutes into their conversation one of his evil henchmen came over and shoved a needle in me! Im sure it's bruising! Then she hoisted my leg so high that if the blankets weren't there im sure people would get a good view! Damn hospital clothes, damn nurse, when I tried to wriggle free she held onto me in a death grip! Great more bruises! Finally nurse iron grip left and I managed to hear the last of the convo. They were talking about me! Elizabeth was talking about an armed guard! Traitor, I shall get my revenge. And on Carson too. They can't keep me in here forever.

**Thursday**

I haven't had much sleep, every ten minuets someone was buzzing for help, and it wasn't the quiet buzzers neither, SOB's were loud! Then about eight am in the morning nurse iron grip came over with more shots! There's another bruise! Then finally a savior! Rodney comes in! But what does he have? Chocolate! He gives me a bar and im just about to take a huge bite when nurse iron grip comes over and confiscates it. Bitch. Rodney soon left of course, he hates this place as much as I do, must be the smell, horrible disinfectant. Disgusting. By about midday my stomach was growling. Do they even feed people in this place? Then salvation. Nursie comes round handing out lunches. Joy…that is until she put my tray in my lap. This is all Carson's doing! He knows I hate haggis! Does he even know where it comes from? Does he know how it's made? I refused to eat it no matter how hungry I was. Of course nurse iron grip was watching, I saw her write it down on her little clipboard, I really wanted to flip her off just then. John my boy, your in for it now. Nurse iron grip started stalking over, I tried to run I really did but the bitch had hoisted my leg so high I couldn't get it loose. Fuck. She made me eat it. it tasted disgusting! Worse than teylas Tuttle root soup! She finally left me alone. Its growing darker outside and now the painkillers are kicking in. ill escape tomorrow.

**Friday**

What did they give me?! Im itching all over! The nurse says it's an allergic reaction to the painkillers. Damn her. My cast is so itchy. I can't get to it either. The nurses confiscated anything I could use to scratch. Bitches. It's driving me crazy! And nurse iron grip keeps glaring me. She now has some help in the form of nurse death glare, now they're both doing it! I bet Carson's done this. I bet he's making them watch me. I bet he knows im planning to escape, for the past 3 hours ive been loosening the chords that keep my leg in the air when their backs are turned ill dash for the exit.

Damn. They caught me. It took them and ronon to hoist me back into bed. Damn them all. I knew Carson had other people but ronon? Who else did he get to keep me here? Ill get them for this… im their commanding officer! Lunch, I hate lunch, more haggis. They made me eat it too. Damn them, it tasted worse than ever. Nearly threw up the whole lot.

Oh no here comes nurse iron grip and nurse death glare. Crap they've got more needles!

**Saturday**

What the hell did they give me? I woke up at 2 am seeing multi colored clowns…. CLOWNS!! Someone will pay! Oh goodie nurse death glare is looking at my charts, 3 times in 5 minutes she hit my cast and made me jump. What kind of psychos are they gonna send next?

Teyla visited today. She brought Tuttle root soup. As if the haggis wasn't bad enough. We talked for a little while, then nurse iron grip shooed her away. So im on my own again. Maybe I should try to escape again….

**Sunday**

Damn those nurses are good. They refused to let me out of their sight; they even accompanied me to the toilets! Nurse iron grip was talking to Carson today, he wont show his face, he knows id try and kill him. Coward, three more days of hell and I get moved to my own room. Thank god. Im going nuts in here. The reading material is foul. And the nurses wont let me even fetch my laptop. They've been poking and prodding my leg this morning. Hurt like hell, I bet they just did it to see me pull a face. I hate them. There will be revenge.

**Monday**

Two days and counting. They've started reducing my shots, thank god; my ass can't take another puncture, looks like I have chicken pox there! They're still watching me. They think ill risk an escape. Hah. Im almost free of their clutches. Im not gonna risk that.

Oh god, they're handing out soup, delicious non-haggis non-Tuttle root soup. It smells so good, evil nurses; they say I can't have it since im on new drugs I cant have anything to eat. Bitches. I bet it was Carson again….

Rodney came back today. He had a present, food! Glorious food! He managed to sneak in a chocolate bar. I've hidden it under my pillow for later, nurse death glare is watching, I hope she doesn't think I have it. I can't lose that chocolate!

**Tuesday**

God dammit, those drugs did nothing, my leg is throbbing painfully, I cant say anything or they wont let me go, ill be a prisoner forever. One more day… one more day…. Oh no nurse iron grip again! What does she want? She doesn't look happy. Oh god I bet she knows about the chocolate.

Damn her, she knew! I of course played innocent to the whole thing but she knew I stashed it behind my pillow. It went something like this-

"Where have you hidden it?"

"Hidden what?"

"Don't play dumb col. Sheppard I know Dr McKay gave you something."

"He just came by to see how im doing nurse."

"Where have you hidden it col. Sheppard?"

" I don't know what you're talking about!"

And of course she searched my bed, didn't find anything until that snitch kavanaugh told her to check the pillow. Rat. He's going to get it too. Damn him. Damn him to hell.

**Wednesday-**

Ok so it's been a week and Carson finally showed his damn face. Started checking my cast and looking not at all remorseful. Finally he told the nurse to fetch crutches…FREEDOM nurse iron grip and nurse death stare didn't look happy, hah I was out of their clutches at last. Note to self- never ever end up in here again. I will get my revenge. Kavanaugh, Elizabeth and Carson. Watch out. Cos once my leg is healed ill be after you.


End file.
